Harry Potter and the Stone
by Muchacho1994
Summary: Harry comes across a stone. Nothing ensues.


Harry strained audibly as he pushed the dehydrated remains of last night's dinner out of his body. It landed in the bowl under him with a small splash. "There we go," muttered the glasses-clad boy to himself, letting his excretory muscles relax.

Harry liked pooping; sitting on the toilet gave him the opportunity to reflect on his day so far. He was trying to remember the exact pronounciation of a spell Dumbledore had demonstrated in class a few hours earlier, and had spent most of his bowel movement agonizing over it. The spell, when pronounced correctly, anyway, would make the nearest container of edible liquid to the spellcaster pour into the nearest cup. He yearned to learn this spell, and was still trying to remember it as he was making his way out of the bathroom.

"Maybe it was 'juiscodawautterbeer'?" the perambulating Potter pondered in the passageways of his school of pig pimples. No, that couldn't be right. "Oh, oh, it must have been 'juicsoca-colale'? Aww, that doesn't sound right either! I know! 'A five-cent packet does the trick, makes two quarts of Kool-Aid quick!' Ugh, nooo..." That obviously wasn't it, and Harry, usually quite a patient person, was becoming frustrated. "Damn."

Troubled, the young wizard decided to seek help from his friends and fellow classmates, Ron and Hermione. Perhaps, Harry thought, they would remember how the spell went. Either way, he vowed never to doze off in class again, no matter how late he was up studying the night before. As he stepped out into the courtyard, he scanned the area vigorously, hoping to find either Ron or Hermione, or both of them; heck, even Draco would be of help to him at this point. To Harry's disappointment, the only other people outside at this time were the members of the Slytherin Calculus Club, who were practicing a song they were to perform all about... definite integrals. Oh, well. Maybe he would find them in a minute or two.

Harry Potter suddenly found himself crashing face-first into the ground. It took a while for him to process what had just occurred: he had tripped on something. Adjusting his spectacles and spitting out grass, the sorcerer got to his knees to examine the offending object.

It was a stone.

He stared at the stone in confusion. "What _is_ this...?" he asked himself, uprooting the gray misshapen rock with his thumb and forefinger. Having spent so much time studying spells, wands and potions, he had all but forgotten about the world outside and what sediment it had to offer.

"Hey, Harry."

Harry looked up to find Hermione smiling down at him. "Oh, hi, Hermione! I was just looking for you," he said.

The girl's face became quizzical, and after a pause, she asked, "Why are you on the ground ogling a pebble?"

"It's not a pebble, it's a _stone_ ," corrected Harry.

Hermione kneeled down to also examine the small, hard stone. "Yeah, I guess it is a stone," she agreed, chuckling slightly. "It's a very interesting stone, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I tripped over it and that's when I found it," Harry admitted proudly.

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Nice." There was a long period of silence. "You know, this stone must have eroded off a cliffside about three-and-a-half millenia ago, before being carried by waves and being kicked by animals, you know, _slowly_ making its way over to this exact spot."

"Yeah, it's got, like, a lot of ridges," observed Harry awkwardly. Then, his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... how do you know that?"

"Magic," replied Hermione with a smile.

"...Oh." Harry shifted his gaze away from the stone to make eye contact with his friend. "I wonder why fate made me trip over this little stone?"

"Well... that I can't really answer." A gust of wind chilled the Hogwarts courtyard then, blowing Hermione's hair into her eyes. As she brushed it aside, she asked, "Do you think it was fate that that wind came along just now?"

"Maybe." Harry felt his eyes stinging from the sudden breeze. "Fate is a mysterious thing, Hermione. Very mysterious."

"Mm-hmm," Hermione nodded, frowning in deep thought. "Well, maybe there was a reason why you tripped over this stone..."

"Like what?" wondered Harry.

"Like... maybe you tripped because it was, uh... your fate."

Harry's eyes widened in wonder. "Oh, yeaaahhh!"

"You're right, Harry. Fate _is_ a mysterious thing."

"Very mysterious?"

"Indeed, _very_ mysterious."

After an even longer silence, the two's heads began to move closer and closer together, as if both their faces had magnets inside them. When their lips were about to touch, they were interrupted by the sound of another familiar voice.

"Hey, guys." Both heads jerked around at once to see none other than Ron. He squinted. "Is that a rock?"

"It's not a rock!" giggled Hermione.

"Yeah!" added Harry.

Ron raised an eyebrow, but also seemed curious. "Well, then what is it?"

"It's a _stone_!" yelled Harry and Hermione in unison.

"Ahh," exclaimed Ron, stooping down to have a look. "I'd say it's quite probable that this is an igneous gabbro."

Neither of the other two understood, but reacted with nonverbal affirmation anyway. The words seemed to be reminiscent of something to Harry, but that was it.

Wait.

That was it.

That was it!

"That's it!" he cried, snapping his fingers. "Guys, come with me! I'm gonna go get my wand!" Harry grabbed his friends' hands and ran out of the courtyard.

* * *

In the Spell Room, Hermione and Ron exchanged puzzled shrugs as Harry placed a cup and a pitcher of orange juice on a table. Harry lifted his wand, hoping his gut was right. Waving the wand, he shouted confidently, "Igneous gabbronius!"

To everyone's astonishment, the pitcher of juice levitated, tilted, and neatly filled the glass beside it. Not a drop was spilled.

"Hooray!" cheered Ron and Hermione.

"I knew I recognized those words somewhere," Harry remarked. He repeated the spell twice more with two other cups. "Here's one for you," he said to Ron, "and one for you," he said to Hermione, handing them each a cup of orange juice.

"Wow, thanks," grinned Ron.

"Magically-poured orange juice, my favorite!" Hermione exclaimed.

Harry sighed in relaxation and picked up his glass of juice. "I don't know why I tripped over that stone today, but I'm glad I did."

"I'll drink to that!" laughed Ron.

"A toast," Harry proposed, "to stones and rocks everywhere!"

The three young wizards clinked their glasses together and enjoyed a tangy, refreshing glass of orange juice.

 **THE END**


End file.
